Anger Management: Kingdom Style

Bob: 00:00

When we choose not to, we become a slave, right? Exactly. So the one who's got the handcuffs on them is you, yes, the person that you're holding against is free. Probably doesn't even realize that you're got so much anger against them and maybe not even care, right? But you're there washing the dishes, and it's controlling your heart and your mind, right? And God wants to set you free, yes, the devil wants to keep you a slave, right, right? So we have to make a choice.

Nathan: 00:37

Hey, I'm Nathan, and I want to welcome you back to the Loveshaped Life podcast where we talk about our dream to see experience and live God's radical love. I'm here today with my good friend Bob. Again. We are in season six, this time episode four, and we're following the teaching of Jesus, the first section of his teaching on this mountainside, his kingdom manifesto, where he began by laying out the principles for allowing God to come into our lives and shape us in the shape of his love. And then we talked about, over the last three episodes, this transition, these few lines of transition to Jesus, talking about five examples of the of of love lived out where he's taking from the ancient Hebrew guidance called the Law and the Prophets in his context, and then showing how those principles what they really look like in the life of the follower of Jesus. So that's where we're heading. Now today we're gonna begin with that first of these five, basically five principles. So let's just think a little bit about the stage that's been set for this major next section of teaching.

Bob: 01:57

Yeah, I think if we back up to even the previous podcast series, where we started at the beginning, we looked at the crowd that was there. There was this great anticipation that Jesus was going to make an announcement, that he was going to set up a kingdom that would conquer the Romans, a kingdom that was ruled by force, just like the Roman Empire. And that's what the people were hoping. That's why they were there. They were excited. And then, of course, Jesus flipped it right. He did. It wasn't an earthly kingdom he was setting up. It was a kingdom, but it was based on love, and it wasn't a kingdom of force. It was a kingdom where people had freedom to choose whether to be members of that kingdom or become part of that kingdom. And then he laid out, you know, the the attributes that would be part of the citizenship of that kingdom, from meekness to to Mercy to, you know, being a peacemaker, pure in heart. He laid out those. We looked at that and the whole series in our last series, and then this, this, these last three episodes we were focusing on. Jesus said, You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world, you know? And we talked about that. But the last episode, we kind of went into where Jesus was talking about, he said, Hey, I didn't come to destroy the law of the prophets, right? I didn't come to destroy any of it. I came to fulfill it. You know, he was laying the foundation saying, as you mentioned in our last episode, he was holding on to the baby, and he was getting rid of all the dirty water. And the dirty water was all the religious garbage that they put over the top of God's pure ways, right? So Jesus was coming to fulfill in the sense, he was coming to get rid of all the religious garbage, and he was coming to take God's dreams and hopes for his people and make it that a reality in their lives. Yes, right? And then the first bomb was the one where he wasn't setting up an earthly kingdom. But the second bomb that we looked at that was really, really just an explosion, was he said, Look, except your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you're not going to enter the kingdom of God. And we knew that the scribes and Pharisees we looked at, it was an outward form. It was following, seeking to follow the rules. And they had over 600 rules, but Jesus really laid them out at a later time, saying that they were hypocrites, the Pharisees and they were hypocrites, and that they made the outside look clean and polished, but inside they were full of corruption. They were full of self indulgence. And he said, first cleanse the inside so that quality of righteousness that he was saying, that his followers needed was one that was on the internal Yes Was it was that of a new heart that love sprang out. Out from this was what he was looking for. He wasn't looking for outward ceremonies and conformity to things from an outward perspective. He was looking to reshape our hearts, their hearts, and our hearts, to make our hearts like theirs. So he lays this foundation. You know, he's laying this foundation for this next part we're going into

Nathan: 05:21

Yeah. And I think another piece to consider is that Jesus calls his followers Salt and Light, right? You're, you're setting the or your life is kind of setting the gold standard of what it means to be human and what it means to really live out love, and so as followers of Jesus, Kingdom people, in Jesus, mind, should be the best example of life lived by the rhythm of God's love. That they should be the ones that that raise the quality of living, the quality of life in their homes, their neighborhoods, their communities. And so when Jesus lays out these next five principles, he's describing very specific ways in which his followers raise the level of the quality of life, live out love in their communities, and kind of set the standard for what that looks like, as kind of a guiding light to the community around them to say, Hey, this is what life at its best looks like. Join us in this journey, and that's kind of where we jump into these five basic teachings. Jesus pulls from the past and then explains and expounds on them, builds on them, to explain what it looks like to be a citizen. Yeah, that's

Bob: 06:48

good to give a deeper meaning and a deeper understanding, and really, ultimately, the true understanding, right? You know of it, getting rid of the religious garbage and just seeing what was left the cream of it. All right, yeah. So

Nathan: 07:03

we're gonna jump in. Yeah, let's jump. You want to read? Or should I read? Okay, so Matthew five, again, if you're looking, this is Matthew's biography a follower of Jesus, his biography of the life of Jesus. And we're in chapter five and looking verse 21 to 26 in today's episode. You've heard that. It was said to the people long ago, You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment again. Anyone who says to a brother or sister, Raqqa is answerable to the court, and anyone who says, You fool, will be in danger of the fire of hell. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court, do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly, I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Bob: 08:20

You know, from our last episode, we had talked again about the difference between the two different types of righteousness, the righteousness the Pharisees had and the righteousness that Jesus wanted his followers to have. Right? So here Jesus is saying, Listen, you've heard by this said by them of old time, You shall not murder, right, which was true? I mean, it goes back to that foundation of the law and the prophets. Fact, it was in the 10 Commandments, Thou shalt not murder. But then he says, you know, but I tell you, anyone who was angry with his brother or sister will be subject to the judgment. So now he's, you remember those, the quality of the righteousness, the outward. Remember the Pharisees last time that is outward righteousness, but Jesus was saying, cleanse first within, right, right? So he's saying, listen, these principles. I want to call them principles of the law, need to be fashioned in your heart, right? Even to the level that you can hate somebody or be angry with somebody, to the level of hatred in your heart that you've actually murdered them, right? So the Pharisees could be priding themselves that we haven't killed anybody, which was really kind of crazy, because later on, we know that they were getting ready for the Sabbath and they had already crucified Jesus, right? So, yeah,

Nathan: 09:44

preparing for Passover, great, very important yearly celebration in the Hebrew community, and they were preparing for the celebration of Passover at the same time, this would be a few years. Later, but at the same time, they were plotting the crucifixion of Jesus.

Bob: 10:05

So again, they Well, they were self deluded, because they were, they had that hatred in their heart, and they were carrying it out and actually murdering them. So they were breaking the law that they were supposedly upholding, right, you know? So, so Jesus is saying, listen here that the quality of righteousness that I'm talking about is on the inside, you know, and so if you're looking at Thou shalt not murder, then we want to make sure the heart is free right from hatred and from the level of anger. Because, you know, Anger is an emotion, and we do get angry at times, sure, but there's the type of anger that Jesus was talking about right here, right was that type of anger where I'm actually holding on to bitterness towards another individual to the extent of I've I'm hating him in my heart or her in my heart, and A murder, I've murdered, yeah, in God's eyes,

Nathan: 11:02

yes, you know. So one of the things I think, as we, as we look into this, as we're talking about these five sections, these five illustrations, is this statement you have heard that it has been said. So Jesus is pulling from the past. They had heard this was said. And one of the things that's helpful for us to note is that when God works with people, he starts where they're at, and he's working toward maturing and shaping people into something more beautiful. And that process is incremental. It develops over time. This is a great moment just to kind of think about the idea of slavery. So in the in in the instructions to the Hebrews slaves were part of the economy, part of a way of life, the instructions given to the Hebrew people in their early days continued to allow for slavery with some parameters, but the long game God's long goal was never that slavery is embraced or accepted as legitimate, but that in as the ultimate objective, the dignity in Humanity of every human being as equals, as enshrined in an example, not a perfect example, but as as our forefathers attempted to enshrine it in, as the Bill of Rights, the Constitution, etc, as that developed, was this reflection of the dignity of all peoples. That's the long game. Is God raising the bar where all human beings are treated with dignity and honor, but it starts with these incremental steps. Jesus is demonstrating that in his teaching here by saying, you heard it was said this way, don't murder. But I want to call you deeper in so it's not just external performance. Why don't kill anybody, but God's actually moving to where he's inviting human beings to experience a change of heart,

Bob: 13:02

yeah? And I just want to remember the illustration about the baby in the bathwater. Yeah, that this was nothing new. Yeah, true. It was nothing new. That was what was really intended through the law and the prophets. That was what was being communicated by God in law as prophets, it just wasn't being understood or or adhered to and and followed and practiced, right? They

Nathan: 13:26

were seeing a kind of a superficial level. Yeah, superficial God was. God was all along looking for something deeper. They just didn't kind of see through.

Bob: 13:35

And I just want to read Leviticus back to those first five books of the Bible, what was considered the law, and I read to you from chapter 19 and verse 17, it says that you shall not hate your brother and your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor and not bear sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am Lord.

Nathan: 14:12

So all the way back, yeah, all the way back, in those early guidelines, is this great dream of God for His people to have hearts of love and and goodness toward fellow human,

Bob: 14:24

right? Exactly. So it was lost sight of right? And Jesus is saying, Well, I'm coming to fulfill it, right? I'm coming to demonstrate it in my life, right? And also share with you what it really means to live a life in harmony with God's ways, right, right? Yes, so, because he was living it in his life, and here in Matthew in this first public, you know, speech, you should say he was communicating. He was communicating. What God's original like? We talked about his original dream. So why does so don't hate, right? Don't hatred in your heart can lead to murder. Ever wonder what it's like to truly experience God's love and love shape life. We're here to guide you on that journey through our weekly emails, podcasts, blogs, coaching and more, we're helping people just like you discover the transformative power of Divine Love, join

Nathan: 15:26

our community at love shaped dot life and be part of a movement that's changing lives. Loveshaped Life your partner in the journey of seeing, experiencing and living God's love. Why Why did Jesus? Why do you think Jesus? I mean, he's choosing five. There's more than five potential references he could have made, taking from the ancient guidance given to the Hebrew people. There's more than five things he could have chosen from. Why? Why might he have chosen this one? He's giving five, right? He could have made it number 2345, so even the order, why might Jesus have chosen this one? Does it tell us anything about Jesus that he chooses this example as his first one?

Bob: 16:15

Yeah, well, I think remember the crowd, right? And the anticipation that they had that day when they came out here. These were people who were being oppressed by the Roman Empire. And I know there was some Roman soldiers there, but the majority of the people were, were the the Hebrew people that were underneath the bondage and slavery of the Romans, right? And they hated them. They did. They absolutely hated them. I mean, it'd be difficult not to hate the people we're having that's robbed your land and and now you're a slave to them and producing crops that they're just taking and occupiers and oppressors, occupiers and oppressors, right? So they're occupy and oppressed, pressing you. So the natural outcome, apart from the grace of God working in your heart is hatred. So there's a lot of hatred. There's

Nathan: 17:07

a lot of it. That's such a good point that Jesus was getting at. He's like, this thing isn't about you just not killing the guy next to you. It's good. There's something bigger here that I'm after, something deeper. I want your insides to change. I want how you think about the human being next to you, the human being across the street. I want that to change, yeah, because

Bob: 17:28

remember Salt and Light, right, right? If we're going to be salt and light, that's even for our enemies, right? And we'll see later on in this he gets there, right? So salt and light, if you're the salt and light, it's not just for the people you love, right? It's for every human being, including your enemies, and that includes the people that you might have hatred against in your heart. And so he's really leading them to help them to see that he can cleanse their heart, yes, and make it in this fashion that you could actually love your enemies,

Nathan: 18:05

yes. And so with that, I'm thinking about our modern society. There are outward actions in the treatment of others, putting one group down, raising another one up in legal systems giving one group of people an advantage over another group of people. If you have one kind of illness, you'll get treated this way. If you have another kind of illness, you'll get treated that way. If you have one kind of skin color, you're more likely for things to go this way versus that way. Those outward behaviors all stem back to an internal way of thinking that somewhere in our childhood, somewhere along the way, we begin to hold thoughts about other people and ourselves in relationship to them. Jesus is getting at that. He's saying, Listen, if the inside climate of your thoughts and feelings about the people outside of you, if that climate is messed up, then your actions toward them are going to to be messed up. They're going to flow out of the internal dynamics of your thoughts and feelings about the people around you. That's why Jesus is turning the spotlight from outside behaviors toward inside.

Bob: 19:18

Yeah, because that's what the kingdom of heaven is,

Nathan: 19:20

right, reshaping the way we think and feel the heart. That's

Bob: 19:24

what the Savior of the world came to do, right? Right? Jesus came to reshape our hearts. Yes, so you're talking about today. In our society today, there's plenty of examples. Even here in the United States, the political arena has gone to the point of, there's lots of it's obvious hatred right there, and just in the political arena. I mean, American society is like a boiling pot just waiting to explode. Because more and more the political ideologies are turned into, hey, we're not just disagree. Agreeing, but we're actually hating people. Are actually hating each other, just in that alone, right? Yes, on a broader scale, we've watched, you know, Israel and their enemies, there, you know, go, tit for tat, right? Hatred for years, and now it's just had blown into an all out war, yeah, and

Nathan: 20:21

those things, those interactions in our judicial system, those interactions on the streets here in America, on the streets and other international locations, those conflicts that erupt into killing and violence, those all began in some place as a seed in the heart, some playground, definitely, some workspace, some online conversation, where, at that point it was just a thought, it was just a concept. It was nothing more. It was maybe an attitude, looking down on this person or that person. That's where those seeds come from that ultimately begin to shape a human being, and then many human beings, and the culture that then acts out the stuff in the heart. That's what Jesus says here. Like he doesn't just say whoever's angry with his brother is in subject to judgment, but he also says, if you call your brother or sister Raka, which was like saying, idiot. Yeah, he's an idiot. Jesus is painting this picture that if we in practice belittle, if we in practice, differentiate ourselves from others by putting them down and ourselves up, that that attitude toward other people is a violation of the kingdom principles, that how I hold someone inside my heart where no one else can see it is profoundly important. How I talk about people is profoundly important, and that the Kingdom idea is dealing with my thoughts and language about people more than it's dealing with my actions, because if that's taken care of, my actions are going to flow out of that. Yeah,

Bob: 22:05

because, remember, there's a in Proverbs, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he Yes. So how we're thinking is who we are, right? Right? Because if you look in the mirror, who we are is the result of our thinking, right? So Jesus is really, I believe. He's trying to warn the people, right? That these little seeds of calling somebody Raqqa or a fool will grow and foster into hatred, which will control you on the inside, right, and actually be as a result like murder. It's murder. It is murder. In fact, I want to read first John 315 it says, Whoever hates his brother is a murderer. And you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. Whoever hates his brother is a murderer. So Jesus just trying to again, help people to see that these seeds, these evil seeds will bear a harvest, and it'll control you and it'll destroy you. So ultimately, he's trying to say, I want to set you free, right? I want to change that hatred to love so that you can love like me.

Nathan: 23:14

Yes. So we talked about followers of Jesus, Kingdom people being pacesetters. I mean, what if every person who said, You know what, I'm a follower of Jesus. What if every one of those people were careful how they talked about people they disagreed with, we're careful how they talked about neighbors were were careful not to cherish animosity or resentments in their hearts. What if, like, that's an incredible thing that would affect school board meetings, that would affect town town hall meetings, it would affect the City Council decisions. That we would have this powerful impact if, instead of cherishing animosity, instead of cherishing these looking down on the people around us, we we honored every human being as worthy of dignity and honor. That would be a shift in society, potentially, right, yeah. And that was the idea that God's the kingdom people would be that kind of influence creating a more civilized civilization, yeah.

Bob: 24:17

And you mentioned school board meetings and even city council meetings. I mean, we've all seen on the news that some of these things have turned violent, yes, crazy, and police have to come in. That's the level that's happening in our society, right? We see going on and and, like you mentioned, that we are salt, we are light, right? So God is seeking to say, I need a people who are going to elevate right, and not choose to respond hatred for hatred, right? Right? That we're going to choose to respond by love, right? Regardless of whether we're hated back or whether we're loved back, we're still going to choose to love because that's who Jesus. Is, and we're choosing to follow Him, and He can take our hearts and make it right, yes, right, yes,

Nathan: 25:08

yeah. So there's not that internal anger, that that resentment, that I start holding other people in that negative light? Yeah, I just

Bob: 25:21

want to talk about the practical side of things here, because we're emotional beings, and things happen, and horrible things can happen. And as a result of that, Anger can come, you know, sway. So just how does how do we not allow anger to control us? Well, that's

Nathan: 25:39

a huge question. I mean, I think from a practical standpoint, one of the things we can do is ask the question, we might sit down with a friend and do this if we want to process this, or just in a reflective moment with a journal or a quiet time to ask ourselves the question, Why am I? Why did I get so angry when my neighbor did that? Why did I get so angry my kids did that? What's going on inside of me. So I think it's an invitation to reflect. I think it's also an invitation that Jesus is holding out that when we lean into him, we can bring to him our resentments, our anger, and say, God, I really don't want this to be the way I look on the inside. I don't want this to be the way I feel toward my spouse. I don't want this to be the way I feel toward my neighbors, or the political whoever. I want to look different on the inside. That's beautiful. We bring it to God and say, God, listen, I want to be different. And that opens our hearts. We're allowing God into that dark space to continue shaping us, reshaping us, reforming us into something beautiful, and

Bob: 26:43

to know that it's a safe place, right, that we can come to God as we are, right, regardless of what our emotional state is, the safe place is to run to God, not run from God, right? So when we see that God is a God of love, and that God cares for and loves us as a father loves his children that he's it's safe to run into him. I want to give an example of James and John. They were followers of Jesus, right? They were sincere followers of Jesus, but their tempers were so bad that Jesus actually nicknamed them. He had a nickname for me, called them Sons of Thunder, right? Can you imagine being called by Jesus? Oh, hey, here's my, my, my, two of my disciples, sons of thunder, and these hot tempered dudes, hot tempered dudes, right? They were, at one point they wanted to call fire down from heaven to destroy the these Samaritans, because they wouldn't allow Jesus to even spend the night. They were turning down Jesus from spending the night. So they turned to Jesus and says, Hey, you want us to call fire down from heaven like Elisha did, and take care of those guys. Let's burn the town. Let's burn the town. And Jesus rebuked them and says, You don't know what spirit you're so Jesus was rebuking them, but the where I want to go with this is James and John. They were nicknamed Sons of Thunder, But day by day, they saw Jesus. Day by day, they looked at how he interacted with people, how he lived his life, and as they saw this beautiful picture of God, again, we're talking about a love-shaped life, they were leaning in right to a love-shaped life. They struggled with themselves because they had these stubborn spirits, right? But they kept leaning into Jesus, and as they leaned into Jesus, they were letting go of themselves, right? Here's a huge thing for us. We're talking about, choosing to let go of ourselves and lay ourselves in his hands, right in God's hands, so so as they beheld him, day by day, Jesus continued to transform their life. And in the end, John wrote the most about love.

Nathan: 28:55

Yeah, that's a great, great reminder we've read from John today, in his guidance to the church is talk about hate and love not being able to coexist, yes,

Bob: 29:08

and they're opposite kingdoms, right? So, so love is is God is love, and His Kingdom is built on the principle of love and and Satan's kingdom is built on self, sinking, seeking, which is really boils down to me first. So it's love versus hatred, right, right? These are two opposite kingdoms, and we have a choice to make. We don't have to allow, you know, anger to control us to the level of that hatred, it becomes murder, right? We may experience these emotions or emotional beings, but we can turn to God, and God can can give us this victory over that you know, you know we talked about As a man thinks in his heart so. See right our thoughts are what end up becoming who we are. I think of in the book of James, it says, If any man is tempted right by his own lust,

Nathan: 30:13

and it's our own desire, our

Bob: 30:15

own desires, right, when any man is tempted by every man is tempted by his own desires, but when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin, right? So there's this conception that has to take place when the when the negative thoughts and feelings are coming to us, we have a choice to make. Am I going to give him to them and embrace them, right? And choose to indulge in them like and it's my right to do that you've hurt me. Or am I going to choose Jesus? Am I going to lean into him and say, Lord, in spite of how I'm feeling and everything, I choose you, you and your ways, you see, so as I'm choosing that, then it doesn't have to bring about conception,

Nathan: 30:56

right? Yeah, where we're where now, it's not just a passing feeling. It's now a way of being toward a person in my heart, correct, correct. So there's a decision we make. There lots of stuff goes through our heads that shouldn't stay there, yeah, but it's whether we choose to take it in now, oh, you know, yeah, there's that anger towards somebody who cut me off or treated me wrong at work. Well, I can take that in and begin nurturing, take that like a little pet, my anger toward this, toward this co worker, and I can nurture that, and I can talk them down, and I, you know, those kind or I can see, you know what, I'm going to release, that I'm just going to let go. I'm going to let God deal with that, and I'm going to continue showing grace toward them.

Bob: 31:39

And you know, Jesus taught a principle that has helped me a lot in my life. He said this. He said, first take the beam out of your eye, and then you'll see clearly how to take the twig out of your brother's speech. It's actually today. So notice what he's saying. He said, the bigger problems is you, is you right? It's the way you're perceiving things. So you have this beam in your eye, big beam, right? And then he's saying, take it out, and then you'll see clearly how to take the twig out of the other spec translate, instead of the spec, right? Yeah. So what I do is, when I find these feelings affecting me, right? And and I find myself that I'm in, I'm in a danger zone, so to speak, right? Then I go and pray, and I said, God, please take the beam out of my eye and enable me to see clearly how to take the twig out

Nathan: 32:38

of somebody else's eye, right? You know, sometimes, oh,

Bob: 32:40

go ahead. No. So it's leaning in, right? Yes, uh, because this is God, and we're learning this journey right, of being citizens of the kingdom, of learning to allow God to shape our lives and to shape our hearts so that we can love like him. But we also need to realize there's a practical aspect of it in learning to fight the battles of life, that we're helpless against the circumstances that oftentimes we face, right? That our only hope is found in him. He's the one who'll give us the victory. He's the one who'll give us a heart to respond back, you know, in love and not in hatred,

Nathan: 33:19

right? There's a worksheet that I have for one of the groups I do, I give it to individuals too, on forgiveness, and one of the steps in forgiveness, it's a four step model. One of the steps in forgiveness is deciding if I want to forgive or not. And I think as we're talking about being practical, there's something powerful about that step. You're making a choice, right? You're making a choice where now it's not just assume that I have to forgive. I'm thinking about the implications. I'm making an deliberate, intelligent choice. What I want to do one of the steps, one of the parts of that step is the worksheet says what would happen if you decided to forgive this person, like just imagine you forgave them, what would happen? And so I think it's a great thing to remind us that God is not inviting us to kind of just blindly, just stumble along and just close our eyes, suck it up and just move ahead. We go in with our eyes open. We choose whether we want to hold on to hatred and animosity or whether we want to release them and and that's important, that each step we make is deliberate, and that if you're not sure if you want to love somebody, just stop and do that little exercise. Say, Okay, what would happen if I were to let go of my resentment toward this? Oh,

Bob: 34:39

well, I'll tell you, Well, go ahead, yeah, you'll find your freedom, right? Because, yes, when we choose not to, we become a slave, right? That's exactly so the one who's got the the handcuffs right on them is you. Yes, the the person that you're holding against is free. They're free. Probably doesn't even realize, right, that you're. You're got so much anger against them and maybe not even care, right? But you're there washing the dishes, and it's controlling your heart and your mind, right? And God wants to set you free, yes, the devil wants to keep you a slave, right? Right? So we have to make a choice, right?

Nathan: 35:15

And so if you're not ready to make that choice, do that little game with yourself and say, Okay, let's just say I might make it how does it affect my life? And that

Bob: 35:24

gives rise to mind all of

Nathan: 35:27

a sudden now freedom. I recognize that, yeah, this is not worth holding on to.

Bob: 35:33

Yeah. I want to give another example of Corey 10 Boom. Corrie 10 Boom was in the concentration camps during World War Two. Her and her sister, and they were obviously treated and to the point of, you know, her sister did die, but they they were barely eating and just losing so much. And she watched her sister be abused by one of the guards, even sexually abused, and then she ends up dying. And after the war was over, Corrie 10 Boom became a gospel preacher. She went around telling the good news about Jesus to people. So she went back to the area of where she was in the concentration camp, and she was sharing with a crowd about what Jesus can do for you, and she made an altar call that for people to respond, to make choices and accept Jesus and be free right from this. So down the aisle walks this gentleman, and she's looking and it happens to be the same guy that abused and murdered her sister. You so all of her feelings, she said, Just welled up in me. They were just boiling, you know, the guy didn't know it was her. I didn't know who Cory 10 Boom was, but all of her feelings were just welling up to want to, you know, just hurt the guy. And she said, she prayed, you said, Lord, I choose I choose to you've forgiven me. I choose to forgive them him. And she said, when she made that choice, those feelings went away. See, God set her free. So I want to remind all of us and those that are listening that there's power in the choice that we make, right? We still have to make choices. Yes, you know, yes. So the story goes on, it does. I think we should finish it, yeah. And the story goes on where he was saying that, you know, Lotus, he says, Therefore, if you are offering your gift to the altar and there, remember that your brother Your sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift. So here's this illustration of a person coming before God, right,

Nathan: 37:49

right? Active worship. Active worship. Point of what would be church today, right?

Bob: 37:55

Not even church, just on a daily basis. You're coming in the presence of God. You're on your knees, right, and you're coming to God, and God says, Hey, if you got a problem with somebody, leave your gift and go reconcile with them. So reconciliation, I'm sorry,

Nathan: 38:13

radical reconciliation, which is making peace with another person, is more important than your religious practice. Wow, that's good. And yeah, reconciliation. Sometimes the other person's not interested, but we do our part, releasing the resentment, making steps that we can take to make amends, to be reconnected with that person, if it's possible. And you know, there's this isn't Jesus saying, you know, you need to go and reconnect with your abuser. This is, this is generalized teaching. We're just Jesus in general. Is talking about in your relationship with others, you realize, hey, word, I'm at odds with a co worker, when you're sitting down to spend time with God or connect with God or be spiritually, pursue spiritual wellness, just stop, because that's a waste of your time if you're still holding on. That's what Jesus is promoting here. He's saying, Listen, this stuff needs to have flesh and bones on it. Go live it out before you do this religious practice. Just stop and go try to mend the fence when it comes to someone who's hurt us deeply, someone that say we've been abused by a parent in our lives. Reconciliation with them may not be the place we're ready to go, or even should go, but we can still release the resentment so I don't have to hold hatred. Holding on to hatred toward that person who hurt me is continuing to hurt me. So releasing that is crucial. So again, understanding Jesus in general, the goal is to reconcile with the person in those cases where that is simply too big a step, or maybe even Not, not. Um, safe, I can still release the resentment and anger from my own heart so that I can experience freedom and leave that person to God, for God to deal with.

Bob: 40:11

And you know, I think really, what's powerful about this illustration too, is because the the righteousness of the Pharisees was all focused on outward ceremonies and forms, right? That was big for them, right? Just doing these in public display and making everybody can see you, right? And here Jesus is saying, Remember, your righteousness needs to be different. Yes. So now he's going, Okay, you come before the altar. You got your gift, you know, but if you got a problem with your brother, then go and reconcile with him, right and then come back right and offer your gift. Yes. So the inside needs to be dealt with first yes before the outside is taken care of, which

Nathan: 40:57

was the opposite, because the religious leaders were like, make sure you get the right sacrifice at the right time. You've got to do that if you're reconciled with somebody at home. You know, big deal. You can take care of that later. Jesus said, no, no, right. Forget the offering. Go take care of the home front. Go take care of the good co worker. Then you can do the outside stuff, because

Bob: 41:16

in God's kingdom, it's all about relationships. It is, and that relationship is our relationship with Him and our relationship with each other. That's his number one priority. Yes, is how we're loving, and that's what identifies us and makes us Salt and Light,

Nathan: 41:30

right? So Jesus picks these five things. This is the first of five basic sections. What's fascinating is all five of them deal directly with relationships, all five of them. There's one more piece to this, and I think we're just going to include it because we have time settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge. The judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly, I tell you, you will not get out until you've paid the last penny. So Jesus shifts the conversation before it was talking about issues between friends, between coworkers, within the kingdom community, if someone you know someone, you're technically close to has something and should go deal with it now. Jesus expands it. He says, Listen, in any part of your life, if an issue comes up, even if it's somebody that hates you, try to be the better person, like, make the goal to be the better person, because actually it's going to work out better for you too. Remember that idea that they were to pray for the well being these exiles in a foreign you know, the foreign country comes and takes them over. This is back and in the ancient story of Israel, the Babylonians had come in and and God's instruction was, pray and work for the well being of that community. So here Jesus saying in your general everyday relationships with the people who don't like you, with the people who are from another city, don't don't be a hard nosed. Don't try to make everything work out to the end. Choose the road that is the best path toward peace and reconciliation. Whoever it is, set the bar for being a person who pursues the well being, the civilized behavior of society. It's more important to work toward that than it is to be hard nosed and not compromise. And so it's this flavor that the fall of Jesus should have, this kingdom flavor of being a person who pursues the best outcome possible for the relationship, and that it even works in a practical sense, for your own benefit. If you push this thing to the wire, you may get the raw end of the deal. So don't push it to the wire. Show grace. Move on. And not only does the community benefit, but you also are gonna, yeah, it's

Bob: 44:00

beautiful. Was beautiful. And I want to flip it into like, because he's talking about, you might be thrown into jail, and you're gonna pay the ultimate price. So the best thing is, do seek to reconcile with somebody? Well, I want to put it in the spiritual zone that, again, when you choose not to reconcile with people and you're busy, you know, contending over strife and whatever have you, and that you're the one who ends up in prison on the inside. Oh, that's good, and you will pay an ultimate price, because bitterness and anger and resentment will eat you just as much as cancer will eat

Nathan: 44:37

you. More serious than cancer, yeah, and it's not

Bob: 44:41

just affecting you now, it's affecting your relationship with perhaps your spouse and your children may not appear to but it is because whatever is affecting you is affecting them. Yeah, so, so again, you know Jesus said you shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free, right? Jesus wants. Says to live free lives of freedom. There's freedom found in living within the framework of the ways of God, right? So when I'm listening to what Jesus is teaching, and I'm leaning into that, right, in religious circles, they may label the word obedience, right? I'm obeying God, right? But really it's, it's our, it's our, it's our honor and our privilege,

Nathan: 45:24

because our heart is being changed, our hearts being changed,

Bob: 45:28

and it's being kept free, yes, right? We, we ultimately become, can be, are the guardian of our own hearts. And the Bible says to guard your heart with all diligence. Guard it with diligence. Don't let somebody take in and take you captive. Don't let anger, bitterness, resentment, take you captive. Don't let hatred in your heart. Take you captive. Be free, because this is what Jesus came to do. He came to set human beings free to heal the brokenhearted, to set the captive free to bind up our wounds. This was the mission of Jesus. This is the mission that Jesus came, if you're listening to us, for every human being, to bring healing to you, to bring freedom to you, to restore you back into this relationship with God, and as far as possible, your relationship with other human beings. What a golden opportunity. I just want to appeal to the audience. This is, this is the this is better than all the silver and the gold that this world has to offer, this is the greatest treasure of all. Harmony with God. Harmony is possible with other human beings that we can't do it of ourselves. This is why we're in need of a Savior, you know. I love the thought of you know, and I oftentimes have to use it that I go to God. I said, God, make me willing to be made willing, right? I get it. I get what, where you want me to go. I get your where you want me to go. But my heart's telling me something different, right? But I turn to God because I know it's a safe place, because if I don't turn to God, I'm gonna pay the ultimate price, and that's I'm stepping more into the enemy's territory, and I'm gonna become more of a slave, yeah? So I'm going to God said, Lord, my heart is struggling here. Make me willing to be willing to let go, make me willing to make willing to to take the low road and perhaps reconcile the relationship, right? And God comes through every time. Yep. So

Nathan: 47:17

I want to throw we got to wrap up, because we're, we're, we're pushing the edge of our goal time wise here, just with one thought. You know, we often talk in you hear the saying, give someone the benefit of the doubt. Well, what if instead, so that basically means we say, well, I'm not sure if he did it, so I'm going to assume he didn't do it. But what if, instead of giving someone the benefit of the doubt, we switched it even further and gave a person the benefit of good faith. What if, instead of saying, Well, I'm not going to hold it against them, because I'm not sure, what if we said, I'm going to assume, not just not assume the worst, I'm actually going to go into this relationship, into seeing this person, assuming that they did the right thing, assuming that they had the right motives, assuming that they had the best of intentions. So this is, this is going beyond just withholding criticism. This is choosing to see in the best light, choosing to assume, not only not evil, but assume good.

Bob: 48:21

Well, it's a powerful thing. Again, it's, how do we see God, right? How does God treat us? And we need to do likewise, exactly right? So even though when all of our mess ups, and even though when we're wrong, God's still pursuing after us, trying to find a way to bring us back to him, we need to do the same with other Yeah, that's right, right, right, and yeah, be free. So what's our takeaway?

Nathan: 48:46

I would say for C it is, again, seeing that Jesus call was not just the external stuff, not not visibly adhering to a list of rules, but rather having a heart that's changed that then influences everything I do.

Bob: 49:02

That's good, beautiful. I see Jesus again, not doing away with the law and the prophets, right, but actually for establishing the reality of the law and the prophets that what they were teaching was an internal

Nathan: 49:18

Right. Right? Yeah,

Bob: 49:20

that the the new covenant is God is promising to write the law in our hearts and our minds, so that we're living it out right from the inside out, right? So I see Jesus, you know, doing that, not doing away with it, but establishing its right place inside out. Yes, done by him.

Nathan: 49:45

That's the beauty. So we see God's love, we experience its power, and as we experience its power, we live it out. Beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. So until next time, lean into the love-shaped life you. Music. Thank you so much for tuning into the Loveshaped Life podcast. We hope you find this podcast not only inspirational, but life changing. Here at Loveshaped Life, we're working to create a community, an online community, in fact, where individuals like you can connect with each other and lean into God's love together. We

Bob: 50:22

also provide spiritual wellness coaching, where we walk alongside people to help them to see the beauty of God's character, discover if there's anything that might be hindering them from finding the healing power that's in that love.

Nathan: 50:36

And as you might have expected, Loveshaped Life is crowd funded. Individuals like you give generously to make this dream a reality. If you'd like to join that crowd, you can give today at love shaped dot life you.